People sometimes wonder why I angrily bash some bad movies when they're not meant to be taken seriously anyway. The fact is, I do not care about bad movies, I watch a few, shrugs or chuckles and move on. It's the worst films that get to me. Films that are so bad they provoke some unpleasant feelings from you, making you want to beat some people up (probably the director). Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen is one such films.
It's hard to see how this film could go wrong. I rather liked the first film, it was one of those guilty pleasure films that has great special effects (one of which is Megan Fox) and awesome moments; as long as they continue to do more of the same, it should be fine, right? Turns out whatever good things that happened on the first film was just happy accidents. The sequel is like a repeat of the first film without the things that make it good and for that, director Michael Bay has to absorb all the blame because there's no mistaking from that this is the film that he wants to make. There's a good reason that I wrote in my review of the first film that "A Michael Bay film" is one of the scariest four words ever and this film only drives the nail to the coffin for that. This is probably the last Michael Bay film I will ever see.
Another GM Car Commercial funded by taxpayer bailout
The plot, if you can call it that, is of course about a new battle that pit the good guys Autobots vs bad guys Decepticons. We learn early that The Transformers have visited Earth in 17000 BC when one of them, The Fallen (voice of Tony Todd), attempted to destroy the earth but were banished by his better brothers. Fast forward to the present day when we learn that The Fallen is the mastermind of the attack of the Decepticons on the first film. This time, he's planning another assault, by first resurrecting his apprentice, Megatron (voice of Hugo Weaving), to find a device called "The Matrix of Leadership" to finish what he started. The location of The Matrix is unwittingly placed onto the head of Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), the accidental human protagonist who accidentally acquired it by touching a small remaining piece of Allspark from the first film. So begin the race between The Autobots lead by Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen) and The Decepticons to find Sam and The Matrix, and this is only the first half of the film.
I wasn't really sure why I like the first film but after watching this film, the reasons dawn on me. Transformers is just another Michael Bay film with a few elements of a good, enjoyable film. To understand why, one needs to understand Michael Bay.
Michael Bay isn't seeing what the audience is seeing
Michael Bay is often criticized for making mindless action movies, but many critics fail to take notice that there are many directors who blow stuffs up and make mindless blockbusters but only Michael Bay can make a Michael Bay action film. His works are easily identifiable by watching them; just as easy to identify a Kubrick's or Scorsese's. In other words, Michael Bay is an auteur director, an artist, except one whose work express so much hatred and contempt at the audience. Rarely a scene goes by where any of these things don't happen: 1) a bright/orangey oversaturated cinematography, 2) Camera that spins round and round characters when talking or posing, 3) Disturbing fetish of female babes physiques, 4) Disturbing fetish of macho male characters (usually cops/military) usually through the use of slow motion, 5) Sickeningly excessive worship of the US military 6) Characters that talk too loud, too dirty or are too retarded for no apparent reason. All these often occur unnecessarily and worse, hinder any possible chance of character or story development because any attempt to understand or enjoy what's going on is lost in the mayhem. Is it too much to ask for a simple, coherent story, a camera that doesn't move, likeable and identifiable characters that don't talk like they're retarded? These are not hard when an overwhelming majority of films have them, even some of the worst films. Michael Bay isn't interested in those things, he's only interested doing things in his own twisted, fucked-up way. The only way to enjoy his films is to turn off your brain and be completely mindless. In a way, he is the anti-storytelling filmmaker, a dangerous one.
More US Military propaganda than Optimus Prime in the movie.
The first Transformers possess all the hallmarks of a Michael Bay film but it also coincidentally have got some basics right: The Autobots, despite their shabby treatment, are basically a likable, underdog protagonists* who are inferior and always behind the Decepticons, and Megatron is only shown in the beginning and the end and prove to be a menacing presence that makes the final showdown between him and Optimus Prime worthwhile despite the chaos. This film has none of that to redeem any negativity created by Michael Bay. A key protagonist robot* dies halfway through and he's replaced by 2 new annoying robots who talk like offensive black/mexican gangsta stereotypes. Megatron, so menacing in the first film, was resurrected only to play a 2nd fiddle to the new villain, The Fallen, who actually don't do much and gets killed off way too easily in the end. There are some things that defy common sense (not that films like this demand them, but nevertheless) like the destruction of many cities in the world halfway in the movie and yet the world carries on like it never happens (contrast this with Michael Bay's Armageddon) and the shabby treatment of a potentially awesome villain: a multiple transformers combining into one giant mega robot like Voltron, Devastator; he shows up, do some awesome stuffs only to get shot down by a US Warship (victim of Bay's relentless US Military worship). Speaking of US Military worship. many scenes of fights are not even between the robots, but between 2 sides and the US Military who are capable of shooting down the robots, I don't know if Bay is aware, but if the transformers can be defeated by the US Military, then they lose their awesomeness. I know, what you're thinking, there's still Megan Fox, right? Guess what, she only have 1 brief clothes changing moment of hotness early in the movie, the rest she just spend running and running around fully clothed. What's left is just endless Michael Bay's regular bashing of the audience running for 2.5 hours.
Some reviews have called this film racist, misogynistic and obnoxious. As a tried and true Michael Bay film, it deserves to be called all of them. I don't think Michael Bay intends to change soon and so there's no point for me watching another contemptuous work of his. I'm done with Michael Bay.
Rating: 1 out of 5
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Ramon Rodriguez, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro
Voice Cast: Peter Cullen, Hugo Weaving, Tony Todd
Directed By: Michael Bay
Written By: Ehren Kruger & Alex Kurtzman & Roberto Orci
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